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Situation - It’s about 6:20am EDT, and I’m just starting to watch last night’s happenings from Invesco Field at Mile High Stadium. Having seen some headlines, I don’t have the virginal expectations I did when I left for work last night. More importantly, McCain doesn’t seem to have leaked his VP pick yet. That surprises me. I had every expectation that the Republicans would leak that information around midnight in an effort to squelch coverage of Obama’s speech. Apparently they’re conceding the pre-noon half of Friday’s news cycle in the hopes that McCain’s announcement will then dominate the rest of the day and lead into their convention. Considering that the convention coverage was a given, this strikes me as a tactical error. If you want to make news on Friday, you need to do it early enough for people to discuss it at work before they leave early, especially on Labor Day weekend.

Yesterday, I introduced the word “Hitlerian” to our little local lexicon (ah, there’s the alliteration). [Note: Halfway through that sentence, Will.I.Am and John Legend came on stage to perform the musical rendition of the the "Yes We Can" speech, for which I am a huge sucker. When HRC people ask "You fell for that?!" which has happened multiple times, I'm a bit puzzled by the cynicism. Regarding this particular piece of the puzzle, I understand, but I don't see how you don't "fall for that." Are you a vampire? Do you not have a soul? Regardless, I had to break for some Rage Against the Machine to regain my frame of mind.] Given the massive crowd at Mile High and its likely resemblance to Triumph des Willens, that word is likely to find application later in this post. I intend no pejorative meaning at this juncture. No one at the Democratic National Convention (DNC) is a Nazi, and I am not instantiating Godwin’s Law. Rather, I mean to note the way in which the crowd is being worked, and Hitler for all of his many, many shortcomings and atrocities, could really work a crowd. It’s akin to “Machiavellian,” in its best sense. Hitler and Machiavelli get bad raps - Hitler more deservedly so - but they were smart guys. Politically, these are people one would want his or her candidate of choice to emulate, at times.

Teaser - I fully expect to know the name of McCain’s VP choice by the end of this post. Then again, I expected to be greeted with that information when I got home just after 3am.

Back to the Show - Commentators keep talking about how much play Obama is getting out of the convention, in terms of organizing Colorado, for which the Democrats have high hopes. It’s as if they expect me to jump for joy because the campaign isn’t run by the learning disabled. I’ve never before seen an interview with Will.I.Am; I don’t know whether he’s overwhelmed with emotion or just not particularly well-spoken. MSNBC can’t decide whether to broadcast Sheryl Crow’s accoustic set or the interviews they have scheduled, so they’re trying to do both things simultaneously. Once the U.S. moves to all-digital television signals, we won’t have such problems. The signs behind the “panel” desk have been getting wackier all week. Last night there was a “John McCain = Back Alley Abortions” sign. Tonight we’ve got a “911 Was an Inside Job” sign and another that’s just a giant marijuana leaf. Now, that’s the kind of nonsense I seek in a convention.

Tim Kaine - “For John McCain, the American Dream is owning 7 houses. If that’s your American Dream, then he’s your guy.” Hmmm…I don’t think you’re putting that fact to proper use. The Biblical quote didn’t help sell me, either. There must be a flight back to Virginia on which to put this knucklehead. Boo this man.

Interim - This is ridiculous. I had to endure some of Tim Kaine, but they refused to focus on Bill Richardson, a man who was on my short list of acceptable VP candidates. Oh, and now we get to hear Stevie Wonder. Had I more energy, someone would be receiving a very strongly worded email. Stevie Wonder is no George Clinton.

Al Gore - Does he still introduce himself as “I used to be the next president of the United States”? Thankfully, he does not. Unfortunately, his voice has nearly the same inflection it did in An Inconvenient Truth. Oh, but it’s great to hear him get riled about how the world would look if he’d won in 2000. That’s why backup quarterbacks are so popular. Now, he’s talking about the climate. You knew it was coming, but you thought he might slander McCain a little more before he got there. “As I have said throughout this land for many years,” Gore starts. Dude, you’re not Johnny Appleseed. Al Gore says important things upon which people really must act, but he has no idea how to work an applause line. This is a little painful to watch. The lines are there, but Al keeps barrelling through them, as though this address were being coerced from him by America’s own Jack Bauer.

Interim - The podium just lowered itself into the stage. That’s the coolest thing yet to happen.

Joe Biden (Reprise) - When Joe Biden starts into off-the-cuff remarks, he is way, way off the cuff. Apparently he’s just here to introduce the “average Americans” who will testify to the way they’ve been moved by Barack Obama. I bet those people are about ready to soil themselves.

Fast-Forwarding - The campaign has released the text of Obama’s speech to the press about a half-hour before it is to be delivered. I understand why such things are done, but I don’t have to like it. I don’t listen to Phish covers of Pink Floyd, and I’m not going to listen to Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews read from Obama’s speech. Jill Biden perpetually displays the “deer in headlights” look, in an endearing way. I stopped to see what Pat Buchanan and Rachel Maddow had to say. Buchanan calls the speech “very long.” I should rejoin my fast-forwarding efforts.

Dick Durbin - Someone cue Europe, because we’ve entered the final countdown. No offense to Dick Durbin, but my patience for warm-up acts has officially worn thin.

Intro Video - Who’s that doing the voice-over? Why, it’s David Strathairn, the blind guy from Sneakers. Whew! If I hadn’t figured that out, it would’ve distracted me throughout the speech, whose length I’ve already begun to fear. Back in the day, the mother of Obama was kind of fly. Cliff’s Notes on the Obama narrative and a myriad of images of Barack with white people are nothing new. I’m just disappointed to see he isn’t walking on-stage to “Ready or Not.”

Barry - Does anyone fail to see the humor in accepting the nomination with self-described “great humility”? Pat Buchanan was right: to the chagrin of many delegates, the combination of applause lines and a crowd of over 70,000 people could stretch this speech past last call. I like the body shots to McCain; this is a nice preview of debate season. That’s a great curve on the word “own.” Usually, I dislike loud noises, but I’m actually turning this up. I cannot express how rare that is, and I don’t understand why I’m doing it. A moment ago, I could hear him just fine. Talking about infrastructure and the need for jobs is very New Deal; passing on the opportunity to invoke FDR is classy. Ending our dependence on “oil from the Middle East” is a somewhat circumscribed goal, to my mind, but, then, I’m pretty far to the left on energy. That’s a very centrist position on drilling, too. Where is my “wind & solar” applause line? Oh, there it is…but it’s grouped with biofuels, which is an environmental lame duck. Primary and secondary school education is a noble cause, but it’s a perpetual quagmire. The health care position sounds very European. I’m cool with that, but I’m not going to shout that analysis around this neighborhood. Barack, are you asking for a line-item veto with regard to appropriations bills? If so, I have to disagree. Cues around the convention had been leading up to the “parental responsibility” point, but I could’ve used a bit more about how much effort each individual and household needs to put toward energy conservation. Inviting debate - everyone knew that would be a crowd-pleaser. “John McCain likes to say that he’ll follow Osama bin Laden to the gates of hell, but he won’t even follow him to the cave where he lives.” Disregarding the potentially unclear pronouns, I’ll acknowledge that as an LOL sentence. Banking applause lines into the slogan rather than the moment is good long-term planning, and slipping in the reference to “Bush/McCain foreign policy” is delightfully insidious. The patriotic schtick builds the crowd, but I wish he’d revisit the old “the unlikely story that is America” line because, well, I have a bit of a hard-on for it, metaphorically speaking. Then again, now is not the time for retreads. Did he just fail to end that “…served the United States of America” applause line strong, or did the crowd interrupt him? The former appears to the case. You know, I’m with Barack on gay marriage, but I’ve been surprised to see how prominent queer rights (I’m guessing this is the acceptable term) have been at this convention. It’s a real nose-thumbing at the Log Cabin Republicans. “It’s about you.” It’s funny how much better he delivers Bill Clinton’s message than Hillary did. I’m Levi Kafka, and I approve of ending with a flourish…but what the hell is this country music? This is not the music I want to associate with Barack Obama. I firmly believe this should be “Ready or Not.”

Apologies for the lack of paragraph breaks. Such is the manner of a “stream of consciousness” style. If you don’t like it, don’t read James Joyce.

Aftermath - Having re-watched the podium exit on mute with “Ready or Not” playing, it’s clear that I have been quite mistaken. Not only are The Fugees a bit too low-key, but lines like “If I ruled the world, everyone would have a gun” are completely inappropriate. That’s my bad, yo. Moving on…

Olbermann slurps, and Chris Matthews is so worked up that they’re even providing him with background music. At this point, the sycophancy has become white noise. I have to say that I was wrong to anticipate use of the word “Hitlerian.” Between Obama’s distaste for grandiose gesticulation and the constant use of tight camera shots, this speech bore little resemblance to Leni Reifenstahl’s documentary/propaganda work. Apparently, the damnable country music is a poke to the eye of Dubya, who uses that song at the end of his speaking engagements.

Update - Reportedly, John McCain has chosen Sarah Palin, the governor of Alaska, as his running mate. As yet, the McCain campaign is denying such reports.

General Commentary - Raise your hand if you’re tired of hearing John McCain mention how many years he spent in a Vietnamese prison. Not only is it a point that bars retort, but it’s also impertinent to nearly any discussion. When will someone point out that, first of all, he volunteered to accept that risk as a professional soldier and, secondly, that he wouldn’t have been captured if he’d successfully completed his mission. I’m not saying “Bad things happen to you because you’re a dumbass” (thank you, Red Forman) is an appropriate response, but it’s a perspective that deserves exploring. Also, let’s not forget his implication in the Keating 5, the fact that he ditched his first wife for a booze heiress as soon as he got states-side, or this little joke he told in 1998: “Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno.”

Marketing Joe Biden as a “Son of Scranton” isn’t a bad idea, but I wonder what the good people of Delaware will think about that, in the event that the Obama/Biden ticket doesn’t achieve its electoral goal.

I keep seeing Luke Russert, brow furrowed, delivering coverage of the “youth issues.” Yes, his late father was likely one of the most notable political personalities in American broadcasting history, but the younger Russert is basically just another nondescript, privileged white man. To this point, his primary exposure has been filling in, as “intern emeritus,” for Stat Boy, during Tony Reali’s honeymoon.

Jimmy Carter - As an old man from the deep South, and as a statesman, Jimmy Carter has a unique perspective on the “momentous” event of Barack Obama’s status as the first African-American candidate for president nominated by a major party. When he’s not president, everyone love Jimmy Carter. At the same time, I think everyone under, say, 35 has heard more than enough about the marvelous things the candidacy of an ethnic minority tells us about American society. Get over it. Much like a female president (Am I the only one who gets a little bothered by the implication of the “18 million cracks in the glass ceiling” line? It’s a good line, and I’d have a hard time abandoning it, were it mine, but the implication that HRC lost because she’s a woman is fundamentally incorrect.), an ethnic minority president is inevitable and remarkable only inasmuch as it is unworthy of note. In the words of Stephen Colbert: “I don’t see race; I only see Americans.”

Bill Clinton - In the pre-game, they’re saying that Bill Clinton wrote his own speech, and it’s likely to run well over the ten minutes it’s been allotted. The former note is a bit surprising; the latter is not. Slick Willy may strike me as a glorified used car salesman, but you can’t argue with his charisma. Seeing the wall of hollaring from the crowd as Clinton takes the podium, it suddenly seems like very reasonable for Barack to accept the nomination in a larger venue. It would be difficult to beat this reception, yet beat it, he must. (Sound a bit like porn Yoda, don’t I?) Humor - I knew it existed somewhere! Talking about Barack: way to be on message! Slurping Joe Biden puts a little gravy on those grits. Around 9:16pm Eastern time, Bill Clinton made unclear use of a pronoun; thus far, that is my only complaint. The guy knows how to work an applause line, both good and bad. Hold on…that “Yes we can” chant just came out of nowhere. They’ve got to be using the giant LCD backdrop off-camera as an “applause” light. I don’t know whether to feel manipulated or appreciate the forethought.

Interim - Chuck Todd, a man much more reliable than his two first names might suggest, seems to believe the Republicans will say that Obama is attempting to appropriate Joe Biden’s experience. Isn’t that exactly what Dubya did with Darth Cheney? Now he’s saying that Kay Bailey Huchison is reported to be on McCain’s short list for VP candidates. Regular readers know that she is far from one of my favorite Senators.

John Kerry - Generally, John Kerry is about as motivational as a bowl of oatmeal, but he’s doing a rousing job of thrashing John McCain. His verbal framing of “Senator McCain v. Candidate McCain” is an effective and accurate rhetorical device.

Interim - I really should be fast-forwarding, but I’m still trying to decide whether or not to start DVRing (”verbing words is cool” - Calvin) Rachel Maddow’s show once the convention is over. She certainly gets props for this observation: “George Bush’s approval ratings are so low they’re approaching Cheney’s - and that’s bad.” Besides, my affinity for Kieth Olbermann (and Chris Matthews, at times) must have been apparent from my Day 1 post. In fact, an underlying dynamic in this coverage is the question of who will take over Meet the Press, which will remain hosted by Tom Brokaw only until election day. Many thought Chris Matthews as en route to becoming heir apparent before Tim Russert’s untimely demise, but Mr. Matthews is prone to catch hoof in mouth disease. Imagine if Olbermann ran that show: “…and, when we come back, our round table guests will be James Carville, Mary Matalin, Doris Kearns Goodwin, and Kenny Mayne.”

Mike Murphy is kind of a douche, but he’s a Republican operative with little to lose: that’s why he’s here. Adressing the crowd behind him, trying to shout him down, Murphy says “You guys are so in the tank; we ought to be filming this in a submarine.” Absolutely true; absolutely hilarious. The open hostility between Chris Matthews - and the MSNBC crew, in general - and MIke Murphy draws this channels journalistic objectivity into question. Check out Slate V for a side-by-side comparison of MSNBC’s and Fox News’ coverage of Michelle Obama’s speech.

Says Pat Buchanan: “Has anyone heard the word ‘Guantanamo’?” If you want to distill a talking point to its key words, ask a Republican. I’m not kidding. Excepting Web 2.0 technologies, the Republicans are much more organized. Hell, Mussolini made the trains run on time.

Joe Biden - I’m not usually a big fan of the video tribute, but the genre’s been used to good effect in this convention, especially because the producers have found ways to work Barack Obama into each and every one of them. Beau Biden’s introduction is tremendous. It’s got both narrative and humor. I’m curious whether he repeated a few words (”…he says, he says, he says…”) after mentioning his father’s childhood stutter as a joke or as a byproduct of moving between teleprompters. Either way, it makes me laugh - much like the way the word “lisp” has an “s.”

One of Joe Biden’s strengths is his earnestness, but I get the feeling he’s a bit overwhelmed by sentiment at the top of this speech. That’s not good, when he’s already got the daunting task of following both President Clinton and this son’s strong introduction. Who are the young women in the box with Jill Biden? I’m just asking. Man, the Democrats are really working the “family” angle. We saw the Obama family, the Clinton family, and now we get a run-through of everyone sharing chromosomes with Joe Biden. It’s a pretty good speech. He introduced himself, did his booster work for Barack, and made some credible criticisms of John McCain that integrated a handy phrase for the crowd to chant. Whoa; perhaps I spoke too soon. All of these particular foreign policy points seem a bit tangential, no matter how frothy they make Scranton’s own Joe Biden. “Frothy” is really the best word. I’d work it into an alliteration, were “fervant” and “fervor” not redundant.

Barack Obama - Barack’s appearance in the aftermath of Joe Biden’s acceptance speech is like a trailer for his speech tonight, and it’s astoundingly low-key. The way he clicks off the names of the previous prime time speakers as applause lines makes me half expect a line like “Big ups to my peeps from the big C; I’m out” followed by a mic drop and march off stage.

Aftermath - With Matthews and Olbermann giving voice-over to the scene on stage with Obama and the manifold progeny of Biden, one wonders whether Matthews’ speech is broken because he’s at a loss or because he’s a bit choked up. I really can’t fault him, either way. Olbermann gets in a plug for Football Night in America; good for him. Talking about Cheney, Matthews says something like “‘I don’t have enough evidence to start this war; get some’ - I bet that’s a call that’s been made to the CIA,” and Tuesday night, while discussing how people get motivated to vote against things, he said something to the effect of “What gets people up in the morning on election day? It’s because somebody’s got right you think you should have, or because somebody’s getting tax money you earned, or because there’s a clown ruling your country,” to which Olbermann responded by visibly taking notes on his clipboard, muttering “clown ruling your country - I can use that.” Perhaps I was mistaken (quite mistaken) in assuming MSNBC would make overtures to maintain the patina of journalistic objectivity.

When I finished my last post, I got the feeling that my standards were not what they could be. Although I intended to save you the tedium of day-by-day posts on the Democratic convention, it has since been brought to my attention that even low-grade posts offer those at work with a preferable alternative to working. My sense of duty, then, compels me to provide my thoughts on every day of the convention. The implication here is that you’ll get two posts today, one for Tuesday night and one for Wednesday night. I’d better get cracking.

Preamble - Because my DVR doesn’t have room for more than one 7-hour recording at a time, I no longer have video from Tuesday night at my fingertips. Because I don’t want to get burned out on politics before I start watching Wednesday night’s coverage, I won’t be re-watching any speeches via the convention’s website, which may require you to install multiple plugins. Because my memory of those speeches has had a day to stew, what follows will likely be distilled to its most vitriolic form and tempered with baseless opinion.

Mark Warner - Allegedly, Warner’s speech displayed his growing talent for oration. Admittedly, the flaw wasn’t poor delivery; the problem was his inappropriate message. When he asserted, for instance, that good legislation should be passed, regardless of whether it’s been introduced by a Democrat or a Republican, he delivered a message that was true, and a lot of people wanted to hear it. Unfortunately, those people weren’t at the convention. Where was the slander of John McCain? Where was the tone setting? Where were the grandiose, Hitlerian (hit-LAA-re-uhn; adj. meaning “similar to Hitler”) gestures? If this is the future of the party, I’ll go back to watching the Libertarian convention. At least that’s good theater. [Note: I wanted to link to the Libertarian convention's website, but Firefox tells me that address contains a self-directing loop. Do I need to make a joke?]

Amy Klubochar - I only watched her 2:49 minutes to get a look at the senator from Minnesota. What I saw reinforced the idea that it was probably good that I left that state when I did.

Brian Schweitzer - If you’ve never seen Montana’s governor, then you probably don’t watch a lot of political news. For someone who thinks this convention has been entirely too humorless, Schweitzer was a breath of fresh air. I don’t know why MSNBC didn’t show his speech. For starters, he took the podium wearing blue jeans, a blazer, and a bolo tie. Clearly, this is a man secure in his position. Sure, he was a little small-time, promoting the use of “clean” coal plants - and plenty of Montana coal - to begin the shift to energy independence, but he closed strong. Between the location and the head honcho, I wouldn’t mind working for the Montana governor’s campaign office.

Hillary Clinton (HRC) - I’ve never seen HRC deliver a speech better. It’s really too bad she couldn’t say on message. Sure, she opened with “vote Obama” and closed with “vote Obama,” but most everything in the middle was about solidifying her role as a demagogue. To what end, specific anecdotes? The few jabs at John McCain were decent, but we needed to hear more about why that dust-farting relic is the wrong choice for women, many of whom seem unaware that he’s anti-choice. Also, though I can’t fault HRC for working a Harriet Tubman quote into the speech, she didn’t do a very good job of working it in. Wherefore context? That line came straight out of left field and failed as a lead-in to the “we can’t keep running until we start running by electing Barack Obama” schtick. That was not a pro-Obama speech; it was an HRC speech with Obama forced in around the edges.

This is why I didn’t want to write this post yesterday. It’s totally stilted, and it makes me look like a prick. In all honesty, there was little chance HRC was going to give a speech that satisfied me, because I fall strongly into the group causing her low “likability” in polls. Last week, I found myself wearing a button-down with the sleeves rolled up and recognized it as the Obama uniform. Moments later, I realized that I couldn’t recall a single occasion on which HRC wore anything but a pants suit. At some point, she must have “down time,” and, in that time, she most likely dons more informal apparel. Why was no such photo opp. scheduled? I’m not saying it would’ve gone down without some mockery, but it would’ve helped humanize the lady.

Okay, okay…it’s time to curb the hating before I run out of steam. There’s still a night’s worth of coverage to be viewed and commented on. Non sequitors:

John Edwards: The Rock Opera - I was listening to “Crosstown Traffic” last week when it occurred to me that a person could score the “inspired by a true story” musical of John Edwards’ life entirely with Jimi Hendrix songs. Think about it; it would be awesome.

Theme Music - When I heard Lenny Kravitz playing during HRC’s entrance, I was legitimately afraid that they were using “American Woman,” a song written by a Canadian band about the ubiquity of young American women invading their country during the Vietnam war. In retrospect, I kind of wish Michelle Obama had strolled out to “Around the Way Girl.” It’s not like L.L. Cool J has anything better to do this week. One holds out hope that the Mile High sound system will do justice to “Ready or Not” at Barack’s speech tonight.