Business Items

When I finished my last post, I got the feeling that my standards were not what they could be. Although I intended to save you the tedium of day-by-day posts on the Democratic convention, it has since been brought to my attention that even low-grade posts offer those at work with a preferable alternative to working. My sense of duty, then, compels me to provide my thoughts on every day of the convention. The implication here is that you’ll get two posts today, one for Tuesday night and one for Wednesday night. I’d better get cracking.

Preamble - Because my DVR doesn’t have room for more than one 7-hour recording at a time, I no longer have video from Tuesday night at my fingertips. Because I don’t want to get burned out on politics before I start watching Wednesday night’s coverage, I won’t be re-watching any speeches via the convention’s website, which may require you to install multiple plugins. Because my memory of those speeches has had a day to stew, what follows will likely be distilled to its most vitriolic form and tempered with baseless opinion.

Mark Warner - Allegedly, Warner’s speech displayed his growing talent for oration. Admittedly, the flaw wasn’t poor delivery; the problem was his inappropriate message. When he asserted, for instance, that good legislation should be passed, regardless of whether it’s been introduced by a Democrat or a Republican, he delivered a message that was true, and a lot of people wanted to hear it. Unfortunately, those people weren’t at the convention. Where was the slander of John McCain? Where was the tone setting? Where were the grandiose, Hitlerian (hit-LAA-re-uhn; adj. meaning “similar to Hitler”) gestures? If this is the future of the party, I’ll go back to watching the Libertarian convention. At least that’s good theater. [Note: I wanted to link to the Libertarian convention's website, but Firefox tells me that address contains a self-directing loop. Do I need to make a joke?]

Amy Klubochar - I only watched her 2:49 minutes to get a look at the senator from Minnesota. What I saw reinforced the idea that it was probably good that I left that state when I did.

Brian Schweitzer - If you’ve never seen Montana’s governor, then you probably don’t watch a lot of political news. For someone who thinks this convention has been entirely too humorless, Schweitzer was a breath of fresh air. I don’t know why MSNBC didn’t show his speech. For starters, he took the podium wearing blue jeans, a blazer, and a bolo tie. Clearly, this is a man secure in his position. Sure, he was a little small-time, promoting the use of “clean” coal plants - and plenty of Montana coal - to begin the shift to energy independence, but he closed strong. Between the location and the head honcho, I wouldn’t mind working for the Montana governor’s campaign office.

Hillary Clinton (HRC) - I’ve never seen HRC deliver a speech better. It’s really too bad she couldn’t say on message. Sure, she opened with “vote Obama” and closed with “vote Obama,” but most everything in the middle was about solidifying her role as a demagogue. To what end, specific anecdotes? The few jabs at John McCain were decent, but we needed to hear more about why that dust-farting relic is the wrong choice for women, many of whom seem unaware that he’s anti-choice. Also, though I can’t fault HRC for working a Harriet Tubman quote into the speech, she didn’t do a very good job of working it in. Wherefore context? That line came straight out of left field and failed as a lead-in to the “we can’t keep running until we start running by electing Barack Obama” schtick. That was not a pro-Obama speech; it was an HRC speech with Obama forced in around the edges.

This is why I didn’t want to write this post yesterday. It’s totally stilted, and it makes me look like a prick. In all honesty, there was little chance HRC was going to give a speech that satisfied me, because I fall strongly into the group causing her low “likability” in polls. Last week, I found myself wearing a button-down with the sleeves rolled up and recognized it as the Obama uniform. Moments later, I realized that I couldn’t recall a single occasion on which HRC wore anything but a pants suit. At some point, she must have “down time,” and, in that time, she most likely dons more informal apparel. Why was no such photo opp. scheduled? I’m not saying it would’ve gone down without some mockery, but it would’ve helped humanize the lady.

Okay, okay…it’s time to curb the hating before I run out of steam. There’s still a night’s worth of coverage to be viewed and commented on. Non sequitors:

John Edwards: The Rock Opera - I was listening to “Crosstown Traffic” last week when it occurred to me that a person could score the “inspired by a true story” musical of John Edwards’ life entirely with Jimi Hendrix songs. Think about it; it would be awesome.

Theme Music - When I heard Lenny Kravitz playing during HRC’s entrance, I was legitimately afraid that they were using “American Woman,” a song written by a Canadian band about the ubiquity of young American women invading their country during the Vietnam war. In retrospect, I kind of wish Michelle Obama had strolled out to “Around the Way Girl.” It’s not like L.L. Cool J has anything better to do this week. One holds out hope that the Mile High sound system will do justice to “Ready or Not” at Barack’s speech tonight.