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Situation - It’s about 6:20am EDT, and I’m just starting to watch last night’s happenings from Invesco Field at Mile High Stadium. Having seen some headlines, I don’t have the virginal expectations I did when I left for work last night. More importantly, McCain doesn’t seem to have leaked his VP pick yet. That surprises me. I had every expectation that the Republicans would leak that information around midnight in an effort to squelch coverage of Obama’s speech. Apparently they’re conceding the pre-noon half of Friday’s news cycle in the hopes that McCain’s announcement will then dominate the rest of the day and lead into their convention. Considering that the convention coverage was a given, this strikes me as a tactical error. If you want to make news on Friday, you need to do it early enough for people to discuss it at work before they leave early, especially on Labor Day weekend.

Yesterday, I introduced the word “Hitlerian” to our little local lexicon (ah, there’s the alliteration). [Note: Halfway through that sentence, Will.I.Am and John Legend came on stage to perform the musical rendition of the the "Yes We Can" speech, for which I am a huge sucker. When HRC people ask "You fell for that?!" which has happened multiple times, I'm a bit puzzled by the cynicism. Regarding this particular piece of the puzzle, I understand, but I don't see how you don't "fall for that." Are you a vampire? Do you not have a soul? Regardless, I had to break for some Rage Against the Machine to regain my frame of mind.] Given the massive crowd at Mile High and its likely resemblance to Triumph des Willens, that word is likely to find application later in this post. I intend no pejorative meaning at this juncture. No one at the Democratic National Convention (DNC) is a Nazi, and I am not instantiating Godwin’s Law. Rather, I mean to note the way in which the crowd is being worked, and Hitler for all of his many, many shortcomings and atrocities, could really work a crowd. It’s akin to “Machiavellian,” in its best sense. Hitler and Machiavelli get bad raps - Hitler more deservedly so - but they were smart guys. Politically, these are people one would want his or her candidate of choice to emulate, at times.

Teaser - I fully expect to know the name of McCain’s VP choice by the end of this post. Then again, I expected to be greeted with that information when I got home just after 3am.

Back to the Show - Commentators keep talking about how much play Obama is getting out of the convention, in terms of organizing Colorado, for which the Democrats have high hopes. It’s as if they expect me to jump for joy because the campaign isn’t run by the learning disabled. I’ve never before seen an interview with Will.I.Am; I don’t know whether he’s overwhelmed with emotion or just not particularly well-spoken. MSNBC can’t decide whether to broadcast Sheryl Crow’s accoustic set or the interviews they have scheduled, so they’re trying to do both things simultaneously. Once the U.S. moves to all-digital television signals, we won’t have such problems. The signs behind the “panel” desk have been getting wackier all week. Last night there was a “John McCain = Back Alley Abortions” sign. Tonight we’ve got a “911 Was an Inside Job” sign and another that’s just a giant marijuana leaf. Now, that’s the kind of nonsense I seek in a convention.

Tim Kaine - “For John McCain, the American Dream is owning 7 houses. If that’s your American Dream, then he’s your guy.” Hmmm…I don’t think you’re putting that fact to proper use. The Biblical quote didn’t help sell me, either. There must be a flight back to Virginia on which to put this knucklehead. Boo this man.

Interim - This is ridiculous. I had to endure some of Tim Kaine, but they refused to focus on Bill Richardson, a man who was on my short list of acceptable VP candidates. Oh, and now we get to hear Stevie Wonder. Had I more energy, someone would be receiving a very strongly worded email. Stevie Wonder is no George Clinton.

Al Gore - Does he still introduce himself as “I used to be the next president of the United States”? Thankfully, he does not. Unfortunately, his voice has nearly the same inflection it did in An Inconvenient Truth. Oh, but it’s great to hear him get riled about how the world would look if he’d won in 2000. That’s why backup quarterbacks are so popular. Now, he’s talking about the climate. You knew it was coming, but you thought he might slander McCain a little more before he got there. “As I have said throughout this land for many years,” Gore starts. Dude, you’re not Johnny Appleseed. Al Gore says important things upon which people really must act, but he has no idea how to work an applause line. This is a little painful to watch. The lines are there, but Al keeps barrelling through them, as though this address were being coerced from him by America’s own Jack Bauer.

Interim - The podium just lowered itself into the stage. That’s the coolest thing yet to happen.

Joe Biden (Reprise) - When Joe Biden starts into off-the-cuff remarks, he is way, way off the cuff. Apparently he’s just here to introduce the “average Americans” who will testify to the way they’ve been moved by Barack Obama. I bet those people are about ready to soil themselves.

Fast-Forwarding - The campaign has released the text of Obama’s speech to the press about a half-hour before it is to be delivered. I understand why such things are done, but I don’t have to like it. I don’t listen to Phish covers of Pink Floyd, and I’m not going to listen to Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews read from Obama’s speech. Jill Biden perpetually displays the “deer in headlights” look, in an endearing way. I stopped to see what Pat Buchanan and Rachel Maddow had to say. Buchanan calls the speech “very long.” I should rejoin my fast-forwarding efforts.

Dick Durbin - Someone cue Europe, because we’ve entered the final countdown. No offense to Dick Durbin, but my patience for warm-up acts has officially worn thin.

Intro Video - Who’s that doing the voice-over? Why, it’s David Strathairn, the blind guy from Sneakers. Whew! If I hadn’t figured that out, it would’ve distracted me throughout the speech, whose length I’ve already begun to fear. Back in the day, the mother of Obama was kind of fly. Cliff’s Notes on the Obama narrative and a myriad of images of Barack with white people are nothing new. I’m just disappointed to see he isn’t walking on-stage to “Ready or Not.”

Barry - Does anyone fail to see the humor in accepting the nomination with self-described “great humility”? Pat Buchanan was right: to the chagrin of many delegates, the combination of applause lines and a crowd of over 70,000 people could stretch this speech past last call. I like the body shots to McCain; this is a nice preview of debate season. That’s a great curve on the word “own.” Usually, I dislike loud noises, but I’m actually turning this up. I cannot express how rare that is, and I don’t understand why I’m doing it. A moment ago, I could hear him just fine. Talking about infrastructure and the need for jobs is very New Deal; passing on the opportunity to invoke FDR is classy. Ending our dependence on “oil from the Middle East” is a somewhat circumscribed goal, to my mind, but, then, I’m pretty far to the left on energy. That’s a very centrist position on drilling, too. Where is my “wind & solar” applause line? Oh, there it is…but it’s grouped with biofuels, which is an environmental lame duck. Primary and secondary school education is a noble cause, but it’s a perpetual quagmire. The health care position sounds very European. I’m cool with that, but I’m not going to shout that analysis around this neighborhood. Barack, are you asking for a line-item veto with regard to appropriations bills? If so, I have to disagree. Cues around the convention had been leading up to the “parental responsibility” point, but I could’ve used a bit more about how much effort each individual and household needs to put toward energy conservation. Inviting debate - everyone knew that would be a crowd-pleaser. “John McCain likes to say that he’ll follow Osama bin Laden to the gates of hell, but he won’t even follow him to the cave where he lives.” Disregarding the potentially unclear pronouns, I’ll acknowledge that as an LOL sentence. Banking applause lines into the slogan rather than the moment is good long-term planning, and slipping in the reference to “Bush/McCain foreign policy” is delightfully insidious. The patriotic schtick builds the crowd, but I wish he’d revisit the old “the unlikely story that is America” line because, well, I have a bit of a hard-on for it, metaphorically speaking. Then again, now is not the time for retreads. Did he just fail to end that “…served the United States of America” applause line strong, or did the crowd interrupt him? The former appears to the case. You know, I’m with Barack on gay marriage, but I’ve been surprised to see how prominent queer rights (I’m guessing this is the acceptable term) have been at this convention. It’s a real nose-thumbing at the Log Cabin Republicans. “It’s about you.” It’s funny how much better he delivers Bill Clinton’s message than Hillary did. I’m Levi Kafka, and I approve of ending with a flourish…but what the hell is this country music? This is not the music I want to associate with Barack Obama. I firmly believe this should be “Ready or Not.”

Apologies for the lack of paragraph breaks. Such is the manner of a “stream of consciousness” style. If you don’t like it, don’t read James Joyce.

Aftermath - Having re-watched the podium exit on mute with “Ready or Not” playing, it’s clear that I have been quite mistaken. Not only are The Fugees a bit too low-key, but lines like “If I ruled the world, everyone would have a gun” are completely inappropriate. That’s my bad, yo. Moving on…

Olbermann slurps, and Chris Matthews is so worked up that they’re even providing him with background music. At this point, the sycophancy has become white noise. I have to say that I was wrong to anticipate use of the word “Hitlerian.” Between Obama’s distaste for grandiose gesticulation and the constant use of tight camera shots, this speech bore little resemblance to Leni Reifenstahl’s documentary/propaganda work. Apparently, the damnable country music is a poke to the eye of Dubya, who uses that song at the end of his speaking engagements.

Update - Reportedly, John McCain has chosen Sarah Palin, the governor of Alaska, as his running mate. As yet, the McCain campaign is denying such reports.